RECENTLY A FRIEND SHARED A CLASSIC example of how not to take life—or herself—so seriously:

“The sun was bright, the air was warm and I was jogging briskly along a quiet road. As I pushed on, something caught my eye. It was a beautiful, glossy book and the title read ‘The Book of Enlightenment.’ Goose bumps covered my skin and I thought, ‘This book must be some kind of sign, a validation from the universe.’ So I said to the spirits at large, ‘If this is truly a sign and if this book is still here when I run back, I’ll pick it up and claim it as mine.’

I continued running, endorphins raging through my body, my mind voyaging beyond the desolate road, feeling very blessed that I had been given an important cue from the universe.

Upon running back, I saw that the book was still there. Confidently, I picked it up, dusted it off, and then skimmed through it. However, inside I found pictures of the male anatomy. ‘What the…?’ I shut the book and looked again at the cover. Stunned, I saw the title did not read ‘The Book of Enlightenment,’ but ‘The Book of Enlargement!’ In that very moment, I learned to laugh at my arrogant ego, smile at myself, and see the humor in life as never before.”

A smile is one of the most basic means of communication. A newborn smiles in the very beginning weeks of life. And as the child develops, it learns how to transform smiles into laughter—to see the joy reflected in every living thing. Having a sense of humor is essential to enjoying a fulfilling life. Healthy laughter liberates us; it is the sunlight that makes life’s heaviness sustainable. When we develop the ability to see the humor in a situation, we gain the ability to handle it.

Not in spite of, but because of the trials Abraham Lincoln experienced throughout his lifetime, he wisely learned and affirmed, “Laughter is the joyous, beautiful, universal evergreen of life.”

Having fun and choosing joy takes courage. It’s much easier to remain stuck in a comfortable routine than it is to depart from the pressures of daily life. Yet doing so is extremely healing. It literally knocks the ego—that part of us that craves predictable consistency—out of its neurotic pattern and comfort zone. Only when we are free from the ego’s oppressive thinking, “I want to know what to expect/I don’t want to change/I like it this way,” are we uninhibited enough to delve into the depths of our soul and recover the joy in our heart.

Happiness and joy are not the same. Happiness is contingent upon external circumstances while joy is the witness of our inherent nature. Our natural essence is love and joy is a result of that awareness. Joy is a choice and can be made at any moment. Mary Manin Morrissey once wrote, “Joy goes beyond mere happiness and can arise in the midst of any circumstance. The transformation to a more extraordinary life begins with a decision to simply live in joy, regardless of what is happening at the moment. That decision can begin right now. Ask yourself this: ‘Why would I want to postpone the experience of joy?’”

When was the last time you had some fun? I frequently pose this question to clients who seem tired, out of balance, and/or bored with their lives. And often, they respond, “I’m not even sure how to have fun anymore.” For many, the ability to let go and allow our childlike self to soar is difficult. Perhaps we never learned to when we were young, or, perhaps, we’ve just forgotten how.

Finally, where do you need to lighten up? What are you taking too seriously? A specific situation, an event, yourself? Accept that stuff is going to happen and all that really matters is how you react to it. You have the choice to react to any situation from fear and doubt or from faith and trust. The first reaction produces drama and stress while the latter creates wellbeing and harmony. Which one will you choose?

Lighten your load by focusing on the joy in living. Yesterday, while walking a beautiful trail that runs along the ocean and is surrounded by colorful wildflowers, I reflected upon my life and felt deeply grateful for being alive. As I looked out onto the crashing waves and blue sky, I thought to myself, “This hasn’t always been true; there was a time when life felt heavy and sometimes just the simple things seemed to be a struggle.” So I took a few more moments to appreciate how far I’ve come, and then, I slowly made my way back to my Jeep. The license plate on the car parked next to mine read, “I Luv Life.” Touche’