In this article we are going to take a look at both our conscious and unconscious beliefs about power as well as ways to alter those beliefs. Our belief system structures our experience of reality. Beliefs that are unconscious may be difficult to pinpoint, but they have a profound influence on our experience. Once we bring our core beliefs into conscious awareness we can decide whether they serve us and alter them if they don’t.

Awareness Exercise #1

Take a moment to reflect on your personal definition of a powerful person. When you close your eyes and imagine such a person in front of you, what do you see? Is the person male or female? How is he or she dressed? What does his or her facial expression and body language reveal? How does this person treat others? Most importantly, is this someone like you or someone you would choose to be like if you knew how?

Your answers to the above questions will reveal much about your core beliefs. If your picture had many elements of the traditional stereotypes of powerful people (presidents, judges, teachers, doctors, etc.) then one of your core beliefs about power is probably that power is external, and may even be something one person has over another. If your picture had elements of a person who is independent and determines his or her own life, then one of your core beliefs about power is probably that power comes from within.

I believe that genuine power comes from within. I like to call it self-empowerment, personal power or authentic power. Some people in positions of power also possess this quality of authentic power, but many do not. How can you tell? There is one basic difference. External power requires the validation of others whereas authentic power does not. Truly self-empowered people discourage others from ‘looking up’ to them. Because they see the worth in themselves, they are also able to recognize the worth in others and therefore genuinely treat each human being as an equal.

Awareness Exercise #2

Now take a moment to reflect on the amount of power you have in your life. How much power do you have over others? Are you in a position of power in your work? Do you have power over others in your home or in organizations you belong to? How much power do you have over your own life? Do you have the power to decide what you do with your time and energy? Do you have enough money to live the way you wish? How much power do others have over your life (parents, employers, partner, children, friends, coworkers, etc.)? Do you feel you would like more power than you presently have? If so, why? How would you be different if you had more power?

You may find some of these questions very difficult to answer. That is because our feelings of power or powerlessness are largely subjective. What one person considers enough money, for example, another may consider insufficient. One belief (for example the belief in what constitutes wealth) influences another (the belief that we have power over our circumstances). Once you have done the exercise, you should have an increased awareness of your relationship to power and your beliefs about it.

What is Authentic Power Really?

In the previous article I mentioned the authentic power of the newborn infant. I used this reference because I feel that authentic power is something we are born with. It is an innate and intrinsic part of us that has little to do with the condition we find ourselves in as human beings. My definition of authentic power is changing and evolving as I learn and grow. Right now, I would define it as “the power to freely express who we really are in the now moment, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually”.

Now stop and think for a moment. Do you freely express who you are in the ‘now’ moment? Sometimes? Always? Never? Or do you try to hide your authentic self, believing that to reveal it would be unacceptable? Most of us have been ‘programmed’ to think that we must behave in a certain way to be acceptable to others. We have come to believe that we are not worthy unless we behave in socially acceptable ways.

As you can see, authentic power bears little relationship to external power. The wealthiest corporate manager may have less authentic power than the homeless person on the street. Once we truly understand that authentic power is our birthright, we also realize no one can take it away from us. Whether or not we choose to give our power away is another matter entirely.

Awareness Exercise #3

Picture a time you felt powerless. Recreate the entire scenario in your mind. Who was involved? What were your emotions at the time? What choices did you make in the situation?

Now go back to the events that preceded your feeling of powerlessness. What beliefs were involved? In retrospect, are there beliefs you could have changed that would have changed your perception of the experience?

How We Give Our Power Away

Are you willing to consider the possibility that you are responsible for your own feelings of powerlessness? Some of you may say: NO! You may come up with examples of external power… the government, the police department, or your employer, to name a few. It is true that individuals in these positions may attempt to disempower others in their efforts to gain more power for themselves. However, they cannot make you FEEL powerless unless you allow it. How we feel is a direct consequence of our beliefs. Emotions do not arise in a vacuum. They are always the result of our thoughts. Our thoughts about things arise from our beliefs about reality. And our beliefs are the result of our programming.Beliefs and Reality

You may have heard the new age expression: ‘your beliefs create your reality’. A person hearing this for the first time might protest that this is utter nonsense. Our mass consciousness belief which we have all been programmed to accept is that reality is a given. It is ‘out there’ and we merely interact with it as best we can. Whether we were raised with the prevailing religious beliefs that ‘God created the world’ or the equally prevailing scientific beliefs that ‘it all started with the big bang and evolved from there’, the consensus is that reality exists independent of the individual.

A person who has spent some time researching the new age concepts and adopting new age beliefs may have some insight into the subjective nature of reality. Perhaps he or she read a book or attended a seminar on affirmations and had some success using affirmations to change behavior. Slowly the techniques of using visualization to make changes are filtering into mainstream society as sports psychologists and success coaches teach them to their clients. However, the idea that our beliefs are powerful enough to create our entire reality is still relatively controversial.

Fortunately, we don’t have to believe we create our entire reality in order to reclaim our power. It is possible to empower ourselves, one step at a time, simply by changing a belief and watching the results. Here is an example.

Jack has been working for the same company for 10 years. Lately he’s been feeling rather dissatisfied with life. The job just doesn’t excite him anymore and he finds himself daydreaming about other things he’d like to do. However, he feels trapped because his family responsibilities and mortgage payments dictate that he must earn a living and this job pays well.

One day, Jack‘s boss calls him into the office and informs him that his services will no longer be required. The company is downsizing and Jack’s job is obsolete. There is no other position available for him, so with a generous severance package, Jack is let go.

Has Jack been disempowered? That depends entirely on your beliefs. You could say that Jack has lost his source of income and if your belief is that power equals money, you would say that he has been disempowered. You could also say that Jack has been given an opportunity to do something he would prefer. If you believe that power equals freedom you would see him as being empowered.

Opportunities for Self-empowerment

It is not always easy to recognize our opportunities for self-empowerment when they come along. Because are so focused in our current belief system, it is difficult to see beyond it. Yet each time we feel powerless we have a choice. We can choose to see ourselves as victims or we can choose to use the feeling as a opportunity to reexamine our beliefs.

Some beliefs are consciously chosen and serve us well. For example, I now believe that meeting a challenge with compassion rather than with anger will lead to a more positive outcome. Because I believe this so strongly, it is true in my reality and my relationships with people are generally harmonious. However, when I was growing up, I often responded in anger when people challenged me. My belief at the time was that I needed to defend myself and as a result, I experienced a lot of friction with other people. I would say that my present belief serves me far better than my previous belief. Yet both beliefs were perfectly reflected in my reality and both beliefs were equally “true” for me when I held them.

Ideally, all our beliefs are freely chosen and serve our highest good. In practice, however, many of our beliefs are the result of the programming we receive from our families and cultures. When those beliefs are disempowering, it is important to reevaluate them and if appropriate, to change them.

The remainder of this series will examine specific ways to empower ourselves in a number of different areas of our lives. How do we empower ourselves in the business world? How do we empower ourselves with our families? And what about relationships? How do we maintain our personal power with our mates? Can we be self-empowered in our institutions like schools and universities? How do we remain empowered when dealing with health professionals? Is it possible to remain self-empowered while belonging to organizations like churches? What do we do when we feel government policies and laws run contrary to our greatest good or the good of the whole?

Meanwhile, I encourage you to start becoming aware of your feelings of disempowerment and looking at the beliefs and thoughts that lie behind the feelings. For those of you who would like a challenge, here is an exercise you can try.

Anytime you feel victimized by a circumstance in your life, repeat to yourself “I am not a victim”, whether you actually believe it or not. Then pay attention to the thoughts/arguments your mind comes up with to contradict that statement. Anytime you hear a “yes…but…” repeat the affirmation of “I am not a victim”. Do it playfully and see what happens!