A well known principle of Thai-Chi is called “letting go” and this principle is key to understanding the philosophy behind the art. The simplest example would be that of the difference between the oak tree and the willow tree. In a storm the Oak Tree tries to stand firm but is eventually knocked down where as the willow tree just bends and sways allowing the wind to pass by.

The Tai Chi practitioner applies this technique while fighting, allowing the attacker to commit forcefully and simply letting go of any resistance at the point of impact which allows the attackers energy to dissipate harmlessly. In this way, force does not meet force which would cause harm to both attacker and defender. The principle of letting go, allows the attacker to do what he intends to do but without causing harm to the attacker or defender. The attacker believing he is going to smash through a brick wall ends up punching a cloud.

If we apply the principle of letting go to our lives we can use it to our advantage and as a way of helping others without harming them or ourselves. In any confrontational, stressful or aggressive situation, we can decide to meet the intention with its mirror image, causing the animosity to rise and become the dominant factor in the encounter or we can let go, allowing the intention to dissipate harmlessly. An intention of harm can only be harmful if there is someone to accept the harm.

It is always our decision whether we want to be affected by what comes our way. There are lots of intentions being sent our way everyday and these intentions cause us to react, mostly in pre-conditioned ways, which have been programmed in to us from our youth, but if we can begin to recognize these automatic responses we can then decide to change how we respond to the intention being directed towards us and not let it affect us adversely.

It’s clear that letting go is not an easy concept to apply when you are dealing with a person who harbors a lot of hostility and resentment towards you. The last thing you want to do is be nice to someone who would malign you. It is in these situations however, that we must exhibit our greatest restraint. Although it may be easy to say, it is much more difficult to do and so it begs the question, how do we learn to “let go” and allow the negativity to dissipate.

Love and Compassion are necessary if we are to understand the principle of letting go. Compassion for most people means feeling sorry for others less fortunate then us and this is not the proper understanding of compassion. To have compassion is to understand the suffering in others and realize that it is their suffering which causes them to act in certain ways. If we can see beyond our own suffering and look at the suffering of others, what becomes clear is that deep down we are all the same. We all want peace and joy in our lives and when anything upsets that, we project our unhappiness onto others as a way to deal with our suffering.

I don’t want anyone to be angry with me but I have made decisions which have affected others in a negative way causing them suffering. Even the most benevolent decision may cause suffering in others depending on that person’s point of view. I once told a man that he must be surrounded by Angels because he is always happy and smiling, he then proceeded to lambaste me and shower swears and curses on me yelling at me to leave. So much for good intentions!

Compassion is the key to letting go and Love is the shield that protects us. When my Angel man yelled at me I didn’t respond with yelling but with compassion, realizing that the mention of angels had triggered an automatic response in him, I simply allowed him to project his anger but I kept love in my heart for him which shielded me from his intentions.

Sometimes there is an expectation, that if we have love and compassion for others then they should have the same for us, and if they don’t, then ironically, that can cause more suffering in us. It is your love and compassion for others which brings love and compassion into your life. Love and compassion are not rewards to be expected for doing good deeds, on the contrary, the expectation negates the intention. A truly humble person doesn’t know they are humble, the minute one says they are humble it negates their humility.

When you are being compassionate, then you are receiving compassion in your heart, when you are giving love, you are receiving love in your heart and this is all that is needed to let go. The act of giving love and being compassionate is letting go.