Spirituality teaches us to embrace love and not fear. Whilst this may seem simple enough, we seem to have such trouble in following this philosophy.

This is because, on some level, we still do not understand the true nature of fear. We have allowed and accepted fear into our lives for so long that we have become ignorant to the ultimate truth – Fear does not actually exist! It is an illusion!

Life is a series of choices. Every single moment, we make a decision whether or not we want to experience happiness.

From as early as birth, we are conditioned to believe that it is OK to harbour negative thoughts and emotions. However, whether it be about another person, event or ourselves, by choosing to fear we choose to experience unhappiness.

The subconscious mind plays a crucial role in our quest for happiness, for it influences our entire behaviour.

The subconscious mind is conditioned by our beliefs and experiences about our reality – be it positive or negative. The subconscious mind is conditioned mostly from early on in childhood and adolescence but also continually throughout adulthood. Our parents, school, environment, loving and painful situations cause us to theorise how the world works. These sets of beliefs are stored within the subconscious to create a narrow but effective view of the world before us. The purpose of the subconscious mind is to create a rough picture of the world so that we may live in it – it is essentially a survival mechanism. As we interact with others or make decisions, our thoughts and feelings are influenced by what is stored in our subconscious mind.

Let us take an example and look at a boy who lives under the heavily critical eye of a parent. During childhood, this boy’s subconscious reacts to being criticised by creating the theory that “others criticise me”. The subconscious mind stores this belief in an effort to be wary of it in the future – to avoid further pain. So as this boy grows and becomes a man, he enters the world with a pre-conditioned belief that people are critical.

This fear-based belief affects this man everywhere he goes. It affects every thought, feeling and decision that he makes until he learns to recognise and deal with this fear. He approaches people with his belief that people may attack and either pre-empts this by attacking first or withdraws to prevent from being attacked himself. These thoughts undoubtedly close him off from fully expressing himself. As we can see, everything in this man’s life is negatively influenced by his past pain.

Every single moment throughout our life we are sending powerful messages to our subconscious mind. If we harbour fear-based thoughts and feelings, then these pass down from the Conscious mind to form sets of fear-based beliefs (insecurities) within the subconscious mind. These insecurities then reshape our world into a fearful one, curtailing our happiness.

Therefore, it is imperative that we monitor the nature of our thoughts if we desire to experience happiness.

How many times do you say to yourself, “I wish I could do this. I wish I was like her. I can’t stand this job but can’t do anything about it!”

Let us evaluate one of these phrases.

When we say to ourselves “I wish I was like her”, our subconscious mind reacts by immediately formulating a theory on how we fit in the world. The subconscious mind, being instinctive and impartial, will register this as ‘we are not like her’ – meaning ‘she is better than us’. Ultimately, we come to an inner belief that we are inferior in some way to others.

Now this fear-based belief of being inferior is stored within the subconscious, adversely affecting every thought, feeling and decision we make. As we interact with people, our feelings of inferiority will have detrimental effects on our confidence, expression and general happiness.

Let’s look at another common trap that we often befall. Whenever we say to ourselves “he really hurt me” or feel that we have been ‘wronged’ in some way, we enforce the belief within us that another has the power to control our happiness. This is the victim syndrome.

Whenever we feel sorry for ourselves by thinking back on an event where we have been hurt, we create the illusion that we are a victim. The subconscious reads this as “ok, he/she hurt me. Therefore they control how I feel”. Subsequently, we register a belief that we are not worthy of holding our own power giving others the power to victimise us. Again, this feeling of inferiority and power-loss will negatively affect our confidence, expression and happiness.

Let us look at an example where a man has been hurt by a loved one and feels betrayed. Here, this man feels that he has been ‘wronged’ and he may consequently loop this betrayal in his mind. However, this will no doubt seriously limit his present freedom as he reshapes his world into a fearful place, where he is a victim. He may refuse to pursue new relationships for fear of what happened once may happen again. We can already see the absurdity of this line of thinking – for it assumes that life is a repetition of events, where each person and situation will hurt us again in the same manner. Fear tells us that what happened to us once will repeat, so let us close up and withdraw.

However, life is an infinite arena of possibilities and new opportunities if we allow it to be. If this man faces and overcomes his fear, he may realise that by harbouring it only hurts himself. By clinging onto his fearful (painful) feelings, this man is only limiting his own happiness.

What about when we directly target ourselves? This is one of the most common issues, where It seems we can’t get enough of telling ourselves off! We blame ourselves for doing this or for saying that as we replay events in our minds. Whenever, we look back in the past and blame ourselves for having acted “wrong”, we inform our subconscious that we are imperfect. Again this negatively distorts the way we interact, express and feel in life. In reality, all your actions are perfect! This is because they are based on the way you were feeling and expressing at that time. The key is to acknowledge this perfection to refrain from repeating a particular action. This awareness allows you to move forward, free of your troubles and also into an arena where your subconscious is aware of your perfection!

In order to move beyond the illusion of fear, we must first not fear our fear! Only by accepting and understanding what the fear is, can we move into a place to heal and transcend it.

Accepting our fear requires us to view our painful experiences in a completely different light. When we view our pain as opportunities for growth, we move into an arena where we learn from all our experiences. Subsequently, our outer world becomes a place that is more accepting, friendly and open – we become happier.

All experiences have something to teach us, if we allow them to. It is how we perceive each experience that defines our reality. If we submerge ourselves in self-pity and blame then this only limits us from experiencing joy in our lives. Blame is a fear-based emotion that serves no inherent purpose. It is an emotion that gives away control of one’s power to another. Blame states that someone is wrong. Whenever we feel guilt or shame or any negative, fearful emotion, we only diminish our own happiness. It is more conducive for us to let go of what is holding us back and embrace what can set us free.

Seeing your painful experiences as positive is not to say that you deserved that experience or that it was ‘good’. Instead, it is a message to yourself saying “I am no longer willing to carry the burden of this pain. I want to grow and be happy”. The extent of our suffering reflects the extent of the strengths that can be attained when we emerge from that experience with love, understanding and awareness. As we begin to view all our life experiences positively, we see that all our fears are merely places of ignorance. Fear reflects the parts of us that are in pain (the insecurities). It is a place where love has yet to reach. And this is what fear really is – it is the absence of love. Therefore, in reality fear does not exist – for it reflects non-existence. By immersing ourselves in negative emotions we give our power away to fear – a place that does not really exist! As we empower the fear within us with awareness and understanding, we empower it with light – we become en-Light-ened.

Every single thought or feeling that we harbour, dictates to our subconscious mind how we view ourselves – affecting our external world and of course our happiness. As we can see using a psycho-analytical approach, the key to experiencing happiness is to maintain positive thoughts by embracing love.

Cleansing our subconscious (Embracing Love)

It is important to remember that the subconscious mind is impartial. It will just as readily store negative sets of beliefs as well as positive ones. It is up to us to be the gatekeeper at the Conscious mind to check the thoughts that enter the subconscious. The more we monitor and become aware of our thoughts, the more we control what enters and is stored within the subconscious.

What about what is already stored within our subconscious? How do we deal with the negative thought patterns we’ve already harboured? This is where positive thinking – affirmations – come in .

Repeating affirmations may at first sound silly and far-fetched in its goal. However we are partaking in a powerful psychological process. As we have discovered, we are sending positive or negative thoughts to our subconscious mind every single moment of our lives whether we realise it or not. Simply saying “I’m bored” immediately empowers significant thought patterns that affect our daily lives. We seem to have no problem denouncing ourselves but feel uncomfortable when saying affirmations!

Affirmations work to re-condition our subconscious with light, loving thoughts. It is like going back to school. We are replacing old negative thought patterns with new loving thoughts that allow us to be free.

When we learn to drive a car, this process is stored within our subconscious. We do not need to relearn how to drive every time we get into a car. This is how the subconscious mind works. When we recondition the subconscious with light, loving thoughts, it will be stored – just as the negative thought patterns that it replaces were stored.

With positive trains of thought instilled within us, affects every part of our lives are then affected – positively! When we approach another person, we do not harbour insecurities and this obviously affects how we communicate with this person – we become more confident, powerful and free to express. Similarly, if we let go of other fears such as scarcity and risk, we may move into paths that are more conducive to our talents – embracing new opportunities and enjoying better careers.

By monitoring our thoughts and cleansing our subconscious, we begin to dramatically change our lives – from one of a bleak, limited, fearful place to one that is vibrant, abundant and loving.

As we begin to become more aware of our thoughts and how these affect our daily lives, we begin to see just how much we give away the control of our happiness. Fear is present in all parts of our society and the media is one example of how our internal fears are reflected on a mass level. However, we cannot blame the media for spreading fear for it relies on the readers to embrace that fear! You have free will, always have had and always will. The more you embrace the freeing philosophies of Love, the more you experience happiness in your lives.