AS A SPIRITUAL COUNSELOR, I provide guidance on many life issues for my clients. But the questions I am asked most often from both men and women have to do with love and intimate relationships. As we progress through the Shift, I find that more and more of my clients’ relationships are ending. It is difficult to tell a client that they have moved past a relationship, or that the person that they are with is no longer a good ‘fit’ for them when what they want to hear is that the person is coming back. Often, they realize that they no longer feel comfortable with the other person and that the relationship didn’t ‘feel right’. I tell them it’s because their energetic vibration has changed. If you feel that too, congratulations, you’re shifting.

OK, I understand that, but am I ever going to have another relationship?

That question is a little harder to answer. The short answer is ‘yes, all you have to do is manifest another one. How long that will take (usually my clients’ next question) is a different matter. When we agree to shift, we raise our energetic vibration and that means that we no longer ‘resonate’ with the people, places, and things in our environment. Relationships fall into this category as well. As I said in a previous article, while each individual resonates at their own, unique energetic frequency, we are attracted to people, places, and things that resonate within a certain range of our own frequency. That is why we are attracted to one particular person, out of a room full of people. They may be the only person who is resonating within our frequency range.

You can guess what happens next – when one of the partners in a relationship shifts and raises their energetic vibration, they move out of the other person’s frequency range. It is ideal if both people are able to shift at the same level, rate and time, but that does not always happen. What does happen is the person who shifts suddenly feels uncomfortable around their partner. Their once endearing mannerisms are now annoying and what was formerly irresistible is now incredibly irritating. Their partners’ reactions to their shift can range from ‘you’re different to ‘I can’t relate to you anymore’. Or, their partner can become very uncomfortable around them and suddenly lose interest and find someone else. When you shift, you literally become a ‘new’ and different person and the people in your life, even those you are closest to, can no longer relate to you in the same way. So now what happens?

In many cases, the energetic frequency changes can create so much friction within the relationship that it ends. This can be a devastating blow to someone who is dealing with many other life issues as part of their shift. And in my clients’ experience, relationships seem to be ending rather suddenly and unexpectedly, for reasons that they often do not understand. But once a shift has occurred and you have moved out of someone’s energetic frequency range, there’s no going back. The Shift will bring any relationship that does not honor you and your Highest Good to an end because, in order to maintain your frequency, you must be around people who lift you up and who are within your energetic frequency range. If your relationship with someone ended, it is, quite simply, because it was no longer good for you. It does not fit you anymore. Since every relationship that we have comes to us through the other person’s attraction to our energetic frequency, where is the next relationship going to come from?

We also choose relationships that fit the model we have created through our beliefs and expectations, which are governed by our conscious mind and emotions. So the first step in creating a new relationship is to put your conscious mind and emotions at the same level of your new frequency.

First a gentle word of warning. Don’t expect to find yourself in a new relationship right away because that doesn’t seem to be happening during the Shift. You may spend months or even years without a partner, giving you an opportunity to review every relationship that you have ever been in, every partner you have been with, and how those relationships worked – or didn’t work – for you. You will be provided with opportunities to understand why you attracted specific partners and how you related with them.

As you review your personal relationship model, you may find that you chose partners who exhibited a pattern of behavior. Maybe they were needy, abusive, demanding, intolerant, or unfaithful. These were your choices and now, with the Shift, you have an opportunity to choose something different, a partner who lifts you up and who can provide you with a fulfilling relationship and unconditional love. We tend to model our parents’ relationship behavior, so take time to review what you learned from your parents’ interactions with each other as you look for clues as to what your relationship model looks like.

During this period, you will find yourself in a place that I call being ‘in the gap’, a place that is somewhere in between desire and manifestation. Being ‘in the gap’ requires patience because it may feel as though you are not making any progress, in the sense that relationships are not coming to you. What you are doing is healing yourself, preparing yourself for the manifestation of the relationship that you desire. Getting through the ‘gap’ requires a commitment to learning your true Self, finding your path, and being in total integrity with who you are. It requires a complete understanding of how your beliefs and perceptions create the reality you live in, including your relationships. And it requires unconditional forgiveness of yourself and of your former partners.

Once you have mastered this, you will be ready for a relationship with a kindred spirit, one who fits the new relationship model that you have created for yourself. The Shift demands that we learn to master these concepts so that we can successfully manage the new creative power that is awakening in us. While this process may seem difficult, indeed almost impossible at times, it is a test of our ability to handle this awesome power and to create the relationship, and the life, of our dreams.