Westerners, especially Americans, tend to be attracted to Tantra from either of two ends of what could be seen as a spectrum from sex to spirituality. Either they are drawn hoping to become better lovers and/or more sacred with their lovemaking, or they have been on a spiritual path and feel disconnected from their sexuality and are seeking integration. Those who have been on the path of sacred sexuality and/or Tantra will generally tell you that their learning was most accelerated by attending a workshop and receiving first-hand training.

Subsequently, the books and videos on this subject become easier to follow. Certainly, there are Tantric scholars, yet for most people who are attracted to Tantra, for whatever reason, the experiential approach is more reliable. Regardless of how they begin – whether it is with actual training or with reading and exploration – both ends of the spectrum tend to find in Tantra what they are seeking plus much more.

However, Tantra has and is being, thoroughly misrepresented and misunderstood in the West on account of the pervasive American sexual filter, the relentless, urgent attraction to sex, and the commensurate national need for sexual healing. The so-called “adult industry” (video, Internet, and escort/sensual massage services) has begun to capitalize on the catchy allure of Eastern eroticism and is erroneously naming their sexual services and products as Tantric. Thus many urban and on-line men are concluding that Tantra equivocates with sexually available women (“Tantric escorts”, etc.), sacred sex for pay, or a type of sexual massage that includes some breathing and/or attention to the chakras.

Furthermore, a more common misunderstanding of the true nature of Tantra has evolved from the so-called “neo-Tantra” movement, proliferated by workshop teachers who are in reality teaching about Sacred Sexuality with varying flavors of Tantra, and who for the most part don’t fully understand (or have training in) the true spiritual traditions and teachings of Tantra.

Because this is a territory that I am very familiar with, I feel qualified to offer the following personal opinion: my position is that the bulk of this work is helpful and usually valuable, especially since most Americans are in great need of sexual healing and education.

However, the problem that I see is that calling this work Tantra leaves the public with a very narrow and limited understanding of what Tantra truly is. Plus this misrepresentation lends itself to superficiality and trivializing of what is in truth a deeply profound spiritual path. I have seen ads for “Tantric photography” and received an invitation to go on a “Tantric kayak trip” – I call this “pop Tantra,” or “hot tub Tantra.” Apparently, the Tantric yogis in India just roll their eyes at such languaging, and the Tibetans simply pray for us (!).

Often in the practice and training of authentic Tantra, the gurus, teachers, masters, and cumulative teacher lineages act as intermediary channels and emissaries for this unlimited spiritual love energy for the benefit of the practitioners. This is known as guru yoga. Deity yoga is a variation where the link is with an ascended Master, such as Jesus, Buddha, or Tara, etc. Thus, instead of seeking energy and love from people, the aspiring Tantrica sources and receives grace from the teachers and masters.

It is said that the great Tibetan master Padmasumbhava, knowing that dark times were coming, hid the secrets of the true Tantric teachings in the lineage of his students so that the teachings could re-emerge from the lineage into the world at a later time.

The ancient yogis predicted that the appropriate and most effective spiritual practice for this age (the Kali Yuga – the age of darkness) would be Tantra yoga, because of the great need to bring Heaven to Earth. Classically, the teachings of all the great ones can be distilled down to living a life of unblocked expression of divinely guided compassion and service.

A critical component is an emphasis on regular practice: a personal discipline (that one has enthusiasm for and commitment to) cultivates momentum and builds a foundation for lasting progress and transformation. In the field of personal growth, it has long been stated that 21 days of repetition are required to change a habit and six months to fully become someone new.

The yogis, lamas, and Tantricas have understood this forever. Plus they realize that the process is one of gradual evolution, rather than reaching a fixed destination. In the workshops, I like to joke that in the West we say, “Practice makes perfect.” While in the East it would be more like, “Practice makes practice.” To have one’s own personal daily practice, perhaps punctuated by occasional special rituals, constitutes the foundation of the Tantric way of life.

The style and emphasis of Tantric seminars vary according to the path and personality of the teachers and the audience they appeal to. Typically, my workshops are roughly half couples and half singles, so the curriculum has been designed to embrace the needs of both. The singles are gender-balanced and are encouraged to circulate and experience a variety of partners, as well as emphasize solo practices.

The program is not designed to help people find their soul mate, but to learn skills to develop relationships based on caring touch, clear communication, healthy boundaries, and a respectful, loving attitude. The real foundation is to develop a spiritually guided, loving consciousness, cultivate healing and transformation, practice spiritual intimacy, channel sexual energy and pleasure to awaken higher awareness, and ultimately become masterful channels for the expression of divine, compassionate, unconditional, healing love.

Despite the misconceptions, my overall sense is that Tantra, both true and “plastic”/commercial versions, is making a valuable contribution to this current wave of the sexual revolution, offering a lasting change to those seeking sexual healing, ongoing methods for creating sacred, loving harmony in relationships, and profound expansion to those seeking spiritual awakening.

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of higher law in the realms of love-based consciousness.