If you are up on your astrology you are aware that the past few months have dealt a tremendous blow to relationships that were not “whole”. The astrological forces either forced resolution of unbalance or total destruction. Destruction enables a total rebirth or provides an opening for the birth of a new relationship based on a new healthier paradigm of relating.

For a relationship to be “whole” both parties must be “whole”. By “whole” I mean totally self-sufficient regarding their ability to love themselves and provide their own inner nurturing. Many would say, “Having a healthy inner child”.

Unhealthy relationships contain co-dependency where one or both parties fill their inner void through the other person. When one person leaves the relationship, the dependent person feels emotionally destroyed. When this happens, traditional healing therapy and our friends say that we must “let go” to facilitate our healing.

This is quite difficult for most people because what they are being asked to let go of is the nurturing that they so desired in the first place. It also compounds the problem because by trying to “let go” they have their attention focused on the person they are trying to let go of, which deepens the pain.

A better way to regain the energetic emotional balance needed in this situation is to realize what really happened. The pain is there because the co-dependent party “gave away their power” to the other person. So, instead of focusing on letting go of the other person who provided all or most of their nurturing – consciously or not – they need to “pull back” their power.

If you find yourself in this position, try the following visualization after you have reached a state of relaxation. Visualize yourself and your partner separated by some comfortable distance. Then like a fisherman start reeling your power back as if you were reeling in a trophy sized fish. Reel the regained power (your self-love) slowly into your heart. If you see your partner pulling back, continue reeling and reel him/her right into your heart and dissolve him/her with unconditional love.

Next, take the self-love that you have now regained and move it from your heart down to your inner child where it can begin the inner healing that is needed. Your task now is to focus on yourself and heal your inner child by providing the love and nurturing that is needed for your own “wholeness”.

Take the pain you have been feeling, in whatever form it materializes for you, and visualize putting it in a purple bag to be carried off for transmutation back into universal energy. Fill the painful void – usually in the solar plexus area – with a big red heart symbolizing your newly regained love for yourself.

Continue, until you feel completely healed, to focus on loving your inner child – which is loving your “true self”. With your attention off your former partner, you will have less pain and be able to heal much faster. You have regained your power in the form of self love.

With a healthy love of self, you will never want to give your power away again. What you will do in the future is give away the love that overflows from your love of self. You cannot give away what you do not have.