The ego is the personality that the outer world sees, and is the actor in the drama of life. Most people go through life without asking who and what this ego is. They accept their personality as being their very essence and do not go beyond that. They do not bother to ask what is the ego and how it came into existence. Can you truly say that your personality, body and the labels that are attached to them are really you?

If I would ask you to tell me about yourself, what will be your answer? You would probably tell me your name, gender or age or describe what you do for your living. You might say that you are a taxi driver, a shopkeeper, an accountant, a factory worker, an engineer or something else. You might also describe the way your body looks, marital status, religion, race, etc. All these are labels.

Are you all those labels?

Your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and habits comprise the ego. It is made of the contents of the conscious and subconscious minds. This ego is attached to the body and identifies itself with it. All these components are supported and made alive by a sustaining power, which is above and beyond them.

The ego – being a conglomeration of thoughts, feelings, beliefs and habits – is not a stable and permanent entity. Its elements are mutable, constantly changing components. Thoughts, feelings, beliefs and habits change, sometimes drastically, and therefore the ego is not a permanent, real unit.

People accept the dictates of the ego, which they consider as themselves, as their very essence, and will do everything to protect it and fight for its honor and survival. It is a unit of thoughts and a belief system that is powered by the Spirit, and seems to act independently.

This ego is not real and is not eternal. It is not real in the sense that it is a product, which is made of various constantly changing components. At a particular time it began to grow, and it will not stay forever. It is an instrument that is used to deal with the outside world, but the identification with it is so great, that it is almost impossible to see that we are not this ego.

We are the free, pure Consciousness that is beyond the ego. This Consciousness is the Spirit that makes the ego “exist.”

We are an inseparable part of the eternal Spirit, which has no beginning and no end, but due to wrong thinking and wrong identification we consider ourselves to be this limited ego. Due to this limited viewpoint suffering is experienced.

From the moment a baby is born he begins absorbing influences from his family and from other people around him. All kinds of thoughts, beliefs and attitudes sink into his subconscious mind and shape his ego, which he grows to regard as an inseparable part of himself.

As the child grows, his inner essence learns to view the world through the colored eyeglasses of the ego, which to a considerable extent has been molded by the people he came in contact with. Every person wears his individual eyeglasses, which have a different kind of lenses. It is according to these individual lenses that people behave, act and react. These eyeglasses cause a biased viewpoint and prevent one from seeing and judging circumstances, situations and people as they really are.

People who wear eyeglasses with similar lenses possess similar belief systems and think in a similar way. Often they are attracted to each other and may start a joint venture, form or join political parties, become fans of sporting teams, join fraternities or fellowships, etc.

When several egos join together they make up larger egos, such as a family, tribe, country, race or religion. These joined egos view the world through similar eyeglasses and act together. The results of their actions depend upon their kind of ego.

Attachment to the ego, and looking at the world through its limited eyes bring trouble, erroneous codes of honor, selfish desires and limited beliefs. The desire to protect the unreal ego causes misunderstandings, frictions, clashes, fights and wars. Wherever and whenever there is any sort of action and interaction between people the ego is there. This ego is both the product of our world and its creator.

The world we see around us is dependent upon the ego, which is not real. This means that the world around us is not real because we see it through the illusion of the ego. The outer world is determined by the way the ego sees it. As the ego is, so is the world. If you are able to rise above the ego and realize the consciousness beyond it you will find out that in reality there is no ego, and therefore there is no real outer world. This is one of the main tenets of the Indian philosophy Advaita-Vedanta.

How to Deal with the Ego

What should be our attitude toward the ego? It is not easy to ignore it completely, though there a few who can do that, but this option does not exist and neither is necessary for most people. We are living in the world with other people, so we need to learn how to deal with our and other people’s egos. Learning how to deal with the ego can make life a lot easier, and more peaceful and happy.

It is advisable to manifest detachment in relation to the ego, but at the same time to respect other people’s egos. We need to realize and know through first hand experience that the ego is not a real entity, but at the same time act in the world as if it is real. Outwardly there is no choice, but to interact with the egos, but on the inner level we need to know that the ego is just an illusion, and therefore we should not let our and other people’s egos affect our inner being.

The ego is an instrument through which the spirit interacts with the outer world and with other people. In order to live a harmonious and peaceful life, it helps if we “improve” the ego and “re-educate” it through personal growth techniques. At the same time we have to realize that this ego is not us, but is an instrument that we are using. This means that it is necessary to develop some detachment. We need to act as if being in the world, but not of the world.

The ego, together with the body, is what we consider as ourselves. Sooner or later this ego brings or causes unhappiness. When its desires are not fulfilled or when it feels threatened it reacts and causes friction and unhappiness. Non-attachment to the ego and its whims frees us from its tyranny. It is natural that the ego wants to preserve itself and will do everything to prevent us from conquering it. Our attention and attachment are its life’s energy.

By treating the ego and its desires and habits with detachment we do not become weak, as some might think. We let the enormous power of the spirit manifest itself, instead of the illusory strength or weakness of the ego.

If we stop identifying ourselves with the ego and view it with detachment, we rise above it. Then there is no question of strength or weakness. We find out that we are in union with an enormous unlimited power. Strength becomes a natural trait that needs no proof.

What does it mean to manifest detachment, and how can this be accomplished? Treating the ego with detachment means learning to separate yourself from the ego. The first step is to mentally accept that you are not the ego. This is done by trying not to be too involved with it, and looking at it from a distance, as if looking at some other person who is standing far from you. In this way you do not let the whims and desires of the ego overwhelm you. By looking at the ego as if from the outside you detach yourself from it, and learn not to be influenced by it.

The Identification with the Ego

Imagine a very large container full of water. This water is one indivisible body of water, whole and homogenous. It is the same water throughout the container. There aren’t several kinds of water, just one homogenous body of water.

Now imagine a large sponge being torn down into many pieces of different shapes and sizes, all of which are thrown into the water, where they get soaked with the water.

It is important to remember that the water that is now in each piece of sponge is the same body of water, and that all the pieces of the sponge come from the same one sponge.

Now suppose that the quantity of water in each piece of sponge forgets that it is water, part of a homogenous body of water, and thinks and believes that it is itself the piece of sponge. This erroneous identification causes the water in each piece of sponge to identify and consider itself as being a separate sponge.

This identification is the cause of differences of opinion and clashes between the sponges in the container. Some of the pieces want to rule the others. Some consider themselves larger and stronger. Others consider themselves weaker, some feel they are beautiful and others believe that they are ugly. Some may inflict suffering on others or may suffer themselves. Sponges of a similar size and shape group together and may oppose or fight other groups. The common characteristic of all the pieces is that they regard their relationships, circumstances and the surrounding world as real and existing, and they act and behave accordingly.

Remember that what is happening is due to an erroneous idea. The water is not the sponge. Whatever is happening in this container is illusory, yet experienced by the water as real. The happiness and suffering of every piece of sponge is considered as real. The sponges become as if alive due to the life principle inherent in the water.

All of this may sound ludicrous, but this is what happens in life. The water is the Spirit, Universal Consciousness, Universal Mind, Life Principle, First Principle, God or whatever you call the Supreme power. The pieces of sponge are the physical bodies, and their shape and size is the personality. This metaphor may not be exact, but it illustrates and explains the relation between the body, ego and Spirit.

It is the expression of the Spirit through the body and physical existence that creates the illusionary ego.

Identification and Non-Identification

Imagine for a moment that there is a sort of a formless, eternal, impersonal and creative power, which gets so involved and identified with each one of its creations that it “forgets” itself and that it is One, Whole and Indivisible Power. It acts through its creations and feels and believes that each part of him is a separate unit.

Though it is one and indivisible, it imagines itself expressing itself and acting thorough its numberless creations. These creations are people, animals, trees, plants, continents, oceans, galaxies and everything that exists.

This erroneous identification of the Whole with its creations is the ego. It is an erroneous, unreal entity, which gives the notion of separation from the surrounding world. It is a sort of an illusory tie between the spirit and the body.

When this identification is dropped down we realize that we have never really been separated. Then we see that life is like a cinema show. We become able to watch the show without becoming involved in it or with the characters and the plot.

When we are able to stop our thoughts and become ‘thought-less’, and yet stay conscious without falling asleep, we start to get out of this ego. We stop identifying with it. We find out that we are beyond the ego. We return to be the vast and unlimited Spirit that we have always been.

We lose nothing when we dis-identify with the ego. Do not think for a moment that a life of detachment from the ego is boring. Only after actually experiencing what it is to live beyond the ego you can really know what it means. You will continue to experience the world, but with a new attitude towards events and happenings. Things happen, but not to you. You are no longer the actor with the mask in the drama of life. Life goes on, but the actor is not you. When you stop identifying your true essence with the ego, the outside world loses its power over you.

Suffering loses its power when you know without any doubt that the ego is just an illusion. Life will go on, but your reactions and attitude will change. You will then experience happiness, calmness and a feeling of inner strength. Becoming free from the ego unlocks the door to constant happiness, content and joy. When the ego subside you become able to look within and know who and what you really are.

Detachment and Freedom

The ego is a slave of habits and behaves and acts like a machine, yet, most people consider it as their very own self. It is triggered into action by the hidden contents of the subconscious mind and by the environment. This means that it is not a free and independent entity. Thoughts, feelings and desires that sometimes one wonders where they come from, shape it and determine its actions and reactions.

Every ego believes it is right and correct in its actions, and wants other egos to be like it. If the other egos do not share the same point of view, then they are considered as its adversaries. This causes clashes and struggles.

The ego wants its desires to be fulfilled, even if they are to its own detriment. If its desires are frustrated it becomes unhappy. On many occasions it even coerce other egos to fulfill its desires. Its attachment to desire is the reason for suffering, because not always everything turns out as expected and desired.

Detachment, which means not being attached to ideas, thoughts and desires, minimizes suffering, while attachment attracts suffering. By managing to maintain detachment when your desires or plans do not turn out as expected, you remain calm and unaffected, and do not get frustrated.

Detachment is definitely not indifference, as some might think. It elevates you above subconscious and vague desires and above circumstances. A detached person is not dependent on outer happenings and circumstances for his happiness and peace of mind. He can stay calm and happy under all circumstances and in all situations.

Look inside you and examine yourself. One moment you think about a particular subject, and a moment later you think about something else. One moment there is happiness, a minute later unhappiness. When you hear something nice you smile, but if you hear a nasty thing you behave and feel differently. Constant changes are happening inside you, which affect the way you feel, behave and act. This is not a state of freedom, and is not conductive to happiness and peace of mind.

Freedom from the Ego

The ego rules our life, and makes us think, behave, and act in certain and specific ways. It is like a computer that has been programmed in a special way, and is therefore predictable in its actions. We, as the consciousness above the ego, are not this computer. Why be subjected to this programming? Why be a slave to thoughts, feelings, habits and attitudes? Be free. You are not the ego, not the personality. You are above them, just Pure Impersonal Consciousness.

Becoming free from the ego gives you the ability to think and view the world without limitations. You stop accepting and acting on each and every thought and idea that presents itself. You free yourself from all limiting thoughts and ideas. Your point of view becomes universal and you become more tolerant, considerate and helpful.

Freedom from the ego does not mean stopping to live and exist. Your life will continue. You will go on acting on the stage of the world, but you will know who you really are. You will awaken your inner consciousness, and will look at your life and act in the world from a different and more realistic and practical viewpoint.

Watching the Ego and Developing Detachment
As an exercise, I would ask you to watch your ego while conducting your daily affairs of life. Watch your thoughts, feelings and behavior, which comprise the ego, without analyzing them, and pay attention to the words you utter and to the actions you perform. Become conscious of your mind.

Whenever you forget to watch your mind and the ego, bring your attention back to these observations. Just observe them calmly and without thinking and criticizing. Try to keep yourself apart from them. Look at your mind and ego as if looking at someone else. This will help you to develop detachment and the ability to separate yourself from the ego. You will consequently be able to watch the ego and understand what it is.

You may perform this exercise whenever you wish, wherever you are. It will be easier to perform this exercise while you are not engaged in activities that call for your full attention. The best times are when you do routines actions that do not require thinking, such as walking, waiting, washing dressing etc.

If you persevere with this exercise your ability to perform it will improve and bring to the fore many abilities. Your ability to maintain detachment will increase. Your powers of attention and concentration will be enhanced. You will be able to think before you act or talk. You will gradually cease to be influenced by outside forces. Your moods will be more stable and you will be less inclined to get frustrated or moody.

Detachment teaches that happiness is not dependent on the gratification of desire and upon outer circumstances. Happiness an inner attribute, and is independent of the outside world. You may not accept this statement, but by learning to experience detachment from the ego you will prove to yourself the validity of this statement.

Do not think that accepting the ideas presented here may lead to splitting the personality or may cause some sort of delusions and indifference to life. Experience shows otherwise. Living in the ego is the delusion.

Rising above the ego means becoming more than a human being. Experience and prove to yourself what you have been reading. Be adventurous and discover the ego and what is beyond it. Rising above the ego makes you more sound, practical, logical and strong.

You may or may not accept what you have read here, but if you study the subject seriously, many of the ideas presented here will become clear and logical. If you want to live a better, happier and more satisfying life, the subject of the ego should be studied profoundly.