How often do you think about the things you want? If you are like most people, the answer is very often. Teenage boys think about teenage girls once every three seconds. Is it any wonder we have to cajole them to get their homework done? Seriously, thinking about what you want too much might just lead to not getting it. Here’s why.

In the Universe, there are principles. Gravity is a principle. Drop something and it will fall. One of the foundational principles of the Universe is called reciprocity. Although you may not call it by that name, you employ this principle every day. Let’s take a closer look.

“The more I give, the more I have to give.”
~Eva

Reciprocity simply means the impulse we all feel to give something back when someone gives us something. This happens to you and me every day. Someone says “thank you”, we say “you’re welcome”. Someone opens a door for us, so we open the next door for them. A waiter or waitress gives us outstanding service and we respond with a generous tip. Someone compliments us and we feel the need to return the compliment. We even use the phrase “return the favor,” indicating a natural tendency to give back.

How does reciprocity affect your life? Here are two quick examples of how this foundational principle works in the real world. The more you understand and cooperate with reciprocity, the more successful you will become in every encounter you have.

Reciprocity at Home

You come home from a long day at work. You immediately begin to spill the beans about how rough your day was, how you are not being treated fairly, how life is tough. How do you think your spouse or children will respond? Chances are they will respond in kind by letting you in on their day and its disappointments. While these mutual pity parties aren’t fatal, they don’t set the stage for a great evening.

How much better if, when you tell your story, you find the good in your day. No pie in the sky. No denying that some things are tough. Just finding the silver lining and choosing to count your blessings instead. Now how will your family respond? The odds are they will follow your example. If so, you have set the stage for a wonderful evening and made a super valuable deposit in your memory bank.

Reciprocity at Work

Reciprocity is best expressed in our work environment by giving great customer service. We all have a choice when it comes to serving customers. Will we do what we have to do and call it a day … or will we go the extra mile and provide a WOW! experience for our clients or customers?

When we choose to go the extra mile, giving of ourselves, we are rewarded with repeat business and referrals. Thus, the principle of reciprocity kicks in and we receive after we give. What happens if we choose to just give average customer service? Not much.

Let me encourage you to think about the Law of Reciprocity in your life today. Maybe even discuss it with someone at lunch or dinner. The more you think about how you can give, the faster you will achieve your goals. In fact, you will find that it is universally true that when you give… you will receive.

Are you ready to practice reciprocity? The easiest way is to give good words. Today, give only good words. Say something nice to a stranger. Compliment people you know. Say a good word to the grocery store clerk. Speak nicely to your dog. Go throughout the day saying nothing but good words, then see what comes back to you.

Dr. Masuru Emoto, physicist and author of Messages from Water and More Messages from Water, has demonstrated that thought has a direct effect on water. Thoughts of love and prosperity will create exquisitely beautiful water crystals, while thoughts of anger and hate will cause the creation of misshapen crystals.

“When you appreciate, your Source Energy flows through you. When you are blaming,
your Source Energy is shut down. Make a conscious effort
in every day to flow your Source Energy…
by appreciating, by praising, by basking,
by loving.”
~ Eva

Our bodies are mostly made of water. What you think about directly affects every cell of your body. Dr. Emoto’s experiments show that nature itself is both holographic and interconnected. What you think about, and the actions you take, even at the minutest level, create perhaps billions of replicas of those thoughts throughout the Universe. Mind boggling, isn’t it?

Let’s look at tithing, another way we ‘give back’. Tithing can be one of the purest actions of prosperity. To give is to say to the Universe, “there is abundance”. The essence of abundant thinking is that all can prosper, and by giving, you open the door to receiving, and by receiving you can give even more.

Why is tithing something so many already successful people believe in? Perhaps because they recognize the cycle of the Universe that says in order to make room for more, we have to let go of some of what we have. It’s a classic win-win for everyone involved. Many children practice this. Here’s an example. Sue and Jane are playing. They both come inside for a drink. Jane runs outside, trips and spills her fruit punch. Sue takes the remainder of her punch and pours it into her friends’ cup. Her mom sees this act of kindness and brings her a full glass of punch. Sue has just been rewarded for her selflessness and in fact received more than she gave. Tithing is based on the same principle, substituting money for fruit punch of course.

A common convention is to tithe, or give away 10% of one’s income. I know the idea of giving away 10% of all income has your eyebrows raised, especially if you are presently not in a very good financial place. But I assure you good will come of it. First, you get to decide where you would like your gift to go. Is there a shelter in your community or a youth center that needs assistance? Or perhaps your son or daughter’s school is in need of supplies? It’s your gift and you have control over deciding where it would be of the most benefit. This alone can make you feel good inside. And those good feelings will create millions or billions of happy water crystals. Guess how strong the magnetic pull of a billion happy water crystals will be.

Being able to help those less fortunate is always powerful with the Universe. Firstly it shows you are grateful for what you have and willing to help those less fortunate than yourself. Secondly, think of how beneficial your gift will be. Those on the receiving end will be giving thanks for the gift you gave, and putting their gratitude out into the Universe as well. It creates a huge chain-reaction of prosperity thinking, and it will all come back to you ten-fold.

There is another form of giving that is pure and simple. It is the giving of gratitude. Thornton Wilder wrote, “we can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” We can feel thankful for a lot of little things every day, even in the middle of life’s challenges. I’m not saying you should be thankful you broke your arm or lost your job. But look around you in that moment and see what’s been there all the time or what’s never left in spite of the difficulties. Maybe it’s the old elm tree outside your window, your cat, best friend, partner or your health.

“Acknowledging the good things in your life each day opens the door for more.”
~Eva

There’s always something to be grateful for. Julia was bemoaning her work situation, convinced there was nothing at all good in it. These bad feelings permeated the rest of her life as well, so the whole picture looked rather bleak. When she decided to hire me as her coach, she brought her negative feelings up first thing, saying, “It’s a complete mess, and there’s nothing I can do about it”. She wasn’t in a mood to be grateful! I asked her to look at it from a different perspective. Julia was asked to look at her situation from the perspective of what she wanted, rather than what was awful. This was hard for her because she was so used to complaining about everything at work.

When Julia thought about what she wanted, she almost immediately noticed some of the things she already had – a nice house, good friends, and a cuddly cat. She liked where she lived and liked that she was in pretty good health. Sure, her job was still awful, but this new perspective of appreciation and gratitude for what she already had helped her to slowly shift her energy. The remarkable thing is that soon after Julia started shifting her outlook to one of gratitude, she was offered a job in a different department, and her job actually became fun again.

“Appreciation is the same vibration as love. Look for more things to appreciate every day and feel your connection to Source.”
~Eva

Gratitude, like trust and faith, is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it grows, and the more power you have to use it on your behalf. As you practice gratefulness your capacity to draw on its gifts will be increased. To be grateful is to find blessings in everything. This is the most powerful attitude to adopt, for there are blessings in everything.

There are times when gratitude is more difficult to come by. Next month, I’ll help you move through the difficult times of your life with more grace, more gratitude, and with a lighter spirit.