Respect is demanded by your child, always! Virtually, every child wants to be respected. Never let “respect” become a sub-standard action or position, especially when in direct dialogue with your child. Children are “Whole Beings” no matter what age they are.

This was conveyed to me the other day when my daughter virtually caught and corrected me upon my responding to what she had just said. She perceived my reaction as disrespectful. We were in the kitchen scrambling up a few eggs. Since cooking can be an important learning process for an eight-year-old child, we both played lead roles and assisted one another. As she turned the eggs around in the skillet we discussed school work and testing. I hinted about the way that I, too, had trouble with tests. Then her sweet little voice uttered passionately, “I’ve felt this way for my whole entire life!”

I began to laugh hearing the words “whole entire life” coming with such drama and conviction from the mouth of my little girl. I felt that statement deserved a much greater time span — she is only eight! Her expression “whole entire life” just threw me a tickle. I really chuckled and enjoyed her perspective.

But she took my humor as an insult and felt disrespected. In a more serious tone, she informed me that laughing at her “was not funny.” She turned toward me and with a frown of disappointment on her face, repeated, indignantly, “I really felt that way for my whole entire life!”

She wanted to let me know that up to that very moment, she was a “Whole Being” without any lack of future wisdom, and her father had just laughed at that. She stood her ground. She was correct. Yes, indeed she was.

What an example of keeping INTENT present at the moment! She did not appreciate me belittling her Whole Being, however few years of experience it offered. What is more, she felt slighted to know her father considered her incomplete and unaware of her wisdom. (I thank God for the gift to perceive clearly her position at the moment.)

I emphatically jumped with joy. “Wow,” I said. “Did you teach me a thing or two!”

She looked at me as if I had just lost it. Without drying out the eggs too much, I explained what had just transpired in order to let her know that parents can learn about life from their children if they just listen.

A child’s wisdom comes quickly and without warning. My daughter taught me that no matter what your age maybe, you have lived an entire life, up to that point in time, and that life’s wisdom must always be respected and honored.

This may be a simple episode in daily living, but when you take a deeper look at what occurred in front of the stove, it is quite revealing. Children are complete in every instant. They exist moment by moment, absorbing and learning at a quickened pace as compared to adults. They are not in the future nor have they experienced it, and sometimes parents assume too much from their children. Whenever we expect more out of them than who they are, they can react with inner pain, feelings of incompetence, and loss of self-esteem.

One of my biggest complaints against parents, especially grandparents, is when they ask the child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This question immediately takes the child out of the NOW. Even though it is innocent and no harm is meant, the essence of BEING is jeopardized. My daughter responds to that question with, “Who cares! … I want to learn and have fun, now! Do you want to play with me?”

Of course, the child dreams and fantasizes about the future (as you did, and may still do), but this is done intrinsically, in his or her own time and space — safely and comfortably. It is essentially a private matter and in most cases still reflects Divine Plan.

Here are a few simple tips on how you can become more sensitive to hearing what your child is truly saying:

1. First and foremost, listen to the child attentively, i.e., wholeheartedly, all the time.
2. Get your agenda out of the way. If you do not, you are trying to influence the child in some manner.
3. Let the child speak freely. Avoid correcting him or her too much or too often.
4. Value the content in what the child is saying even if what is being conveyed is illogical or makes no sense to you.
5. It is best if parents avoid long statements that cut off the child’s thinking.
6. Permit the child to express his or her feelings.
7. Avoid justifications and defensive statements. These are daggers to children.
8. Have fun encouraging your children to say what they feel. Prompt them to continue. They may change the subject three or four times. So what! You are listening. It is like entertainment!
9. “Indigo Children” can, at times, communicate on the soul level. Do not attack this form of communiqué. Listen and thank them. They may not know the magnitude behind what is being said.
10. Compliment children for sharing. Encourage them to speak openly and lovingly as much as possible.

These tips actually empower your child to become an expressive Whole Being. This affords him or her the confidence and self-respect to participate and contribute as a “respected” family member — something our generation has dreamed of achieving.

We all live in a world that thrives on information, accuracy, and integrity. This is the social matter or glue that keeps us bonded as a civilized community. Children are born knowing only their bodies, their mothers, and themselves as Spirit. All the rest, they learn. As parents, our main obligation is to present to the child every possible learning opportunity with as much love distilled into it as we can — even discipline with love is learning.

This God-driven process opens the door for parents to learn about life as I did that day, cooking eggs. I always knew (mentally) that children were “Whole Beings,” but never really felt it in the heart the way my daughter showed me. Who are the teachers?