Many of the animals I am called to see have what are termed ‘behavioural problems’. In other words. they display behaviours that make their relationships with their humans and sometimes other animals difficult, even impossible. These behaviours can have a multitude of causes and they can range from mildly irritating to downright dangerous. Overcoming such issues can take minutes or months and a lot of attention to detail. In all cases, misunderstanding lies at the root.

“If only they could talk!” is a phrase often bandied around by frustrated humans who simply do not understand why their animal friends sometimes behave the way they do. Then when they find themselves an animal communicator they believe their prayers are answered. Well, they usually are – but not always exactly the way they anticipated. How many times have you prayed for something and not got quite what you expected? Or maybe you did get it, but not in the way you expected!

As those of you who join me each month will know, I don’t only deal with animals using my psychic ability or healing. Expecting to deal with everything on an exclusively spiritual level is a bit like only having a roof on your house – without bricks and mortar and a solid foundation upon which to build – it ain’t very secure! The greatest health and happiness is achieved through balancing emotional, mental, physical and spiritual needs.

Our animal friends are not humans in hair coats and I concentrate a lot of my time in encouraging people to learn about whichever species they choose to spend their time with, and to communicate with them in their own language – be it equine, canine, feline or another. And I don’t mean learning to neigh, bark or purr, I mean learning about their main visual communication – body language.

Another important thing to learn, if your relationship is going to be harmonious, is how your animal friend behaves within its own species group. For instance, sniffing around a new acquaintance’s (even an old one’s!) bottom may not be something we, as humans, would choose to do, but it tells a dog a lot about any other dog they meet and stop them from doing it simply because it offends us is like telling them to never ask questions of other dogs. This, of course, comes under the heading of ‘things to understand’ rather than ‘things to do!’

Connecting spirit to spirit with an animal is a truly magical and wondrous experience. On a practical level, it can provide either the answer or a set of clues as to why an animal is displaying what we perceive as behavioural problems, but it is often just the start of a long process of change and discovery. Rather like discovering aspects about ourselves. Think for a moment of a human ‘problem’ behaviour – be it yours or someone else’s – now tell me, would one visit a counsellor to resolve it? Or is it more complex than that?

Admitting to and acknowledging an unwanted behaviour is a cathartic moment – for humans and animals – but it is also just the beginning of a journey of self-discovery, for which much support is required. Since aggression is often an issue with animals I visit, let’s take an example of human aggression to help illustrate my point. If a man had repeatedly beaten his wife for years and one day he told someone about it, would that mean he would never do it again? And would he ‘know’ for sure why he had done it? Would he truly know what was at the root of his problem? My guess is ‘no,’ ‘no,’ and ‘no’. And it can sometimes be the same with an animal.

Of course, there are exceptions to all rules and, in many instances, animal behaviour can be transformed overnight. Indeed, our human language can often get in the way when we try to deal with our own issues, whereas connecting telepathically with an animal allows feelings and emotions to be clearly expressed and sometimes cuts straight to the root of the problem. A process that can take weeks, months, even years on a counsellor’s couch for we humans can take just one session for an animal. However, even if an animal tells me what is troubling them they may still need help to release physically.

Every single cell in the body has the capacity to carry memory and nowadays it is widely recognised that body-oriented therapies help to release long-held neurological patterns. Research has proven that long after an injury (be it a gaping wound, broken bone, a sore or a bruise) has healed, people will protect the once damaged part – often without even thinking about it. So even though traditional psychotherapies can make a dent in what’s going on, to truly release and change patterns of behaviour we have to deal with the body also. And it is exactly the same for the animals.

I rarely meet any animal displaying a problem behaviour who is totally happy to be touched all over their body, because, regardless of what is at the root of their problem, tension and soreness in parts of the body is a major symptom of long-held emotional or mental stress. The only exception to this rule is actually not really an exception at all – other than an illusionary one – because I do come across animals that ‘appear’ to have ‘switched off’ in their bodies, almost as if they have stopped feeling.

Tension and soreness in the body do not have to be the result of a physical trauma either. Who has ever suffered from sore shoulders, neck and a tension headache after a particularly stressful day? Humans typically hold their tension in the upper body, whereas dogs, horses and cats hold their tension in their hind end and back legs. If tension is experienced frequently and no bodywork is done to help release that tension a cycle can become established and behavioural changes may become apparent.

I recently worked with a dog that had started nipping her people when they went to touch her. She was also afraid of loud noises and the problem was just getting worse as she got older. She didn’t know what exactly she was afraid of; she just knew she felt fear and people touching her made her jumpy. As I used the Tellington Touch on her body she began to relax and was able to tell me when the fear had started. She was just a young pup and one evening her people sat down with her in the lounge, turned up the TV, closed the curtains and then there came loud banging and whooshing noises outside. She was unsure what on earth was going on and looked to her people to see what they had to say about it – then she got even more worried, because they were all worried, too. There was obviously something to be afraid of!

What she described was a typical first firework’s night for many dogs. The first time they hear the banging they have no idea what on earth it is, so they look around them to their humans and fellow canines to see how they are reacting. That way they can gauge whether or not they should be worried. If everyone is calm and paying no heed to the strange noise, then there is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, the best-intended reassurances we may be tempted to give to our dogs could be seen by them as an indication that there is something to be concerned about.

This little doggie had then become nervous whenever she heard a loud noise, and, sure enough, her humans just kept on endorsing her fears by behaving anxiously themselves. Her tension had been held in her back legs and rump to such an extent that she even felt sore there when everywhere was silent. The tension was, for her, a reminder of her fears, so even feeling tense indicated to her there was something to worry about. She no longer needed loud noises to feel insecure. Do you see how a cycle of reactive physical tension can become established? The problem began with a fear of strange noise and resulted in great insecurity, physical soreness and an aversion to her back legs and tail being touched.

Imagine how it would feel if you had a particular part(s) of your body that you really didn’t like being touched because it felt sore, tense, or vulnerable. When in a company it would be impossible to relax because a part of you would remain preoccupied with worrying that someone might intentionally or inadvertently touch that protected part. Imagine, too, if you couldn’t explain your dilemma to anyone! How would you go about protecting yourself? Moving away every time someone came close? Being unfriendly so no one would approach? And what if someone did get too close? Would you cower away and become defensive, or would you strike out?

The Tellington Touch worked its miracles for that little doggie and there followed a necessary process of readjustment. Her humans had to do some unlearning of typical responses themselves and acquire a degree of competency in speaking canine. She is still mildly reactive to loud noises, seeking the company of her human family for reassurance, but the nipping has stopped and she is happy to be stroked all over. She even looks taller and plumper now that she has released the physical tension that gave her the appearance of permanently cowering.

The next vital ingredient for her recovery was ‘trust’. Her people had to learn to trust that she would no longer bite them. And this isn’t always an easy process. If a human or an animal displays a particular behaviour for a long time, then stops that behaviour, the reactions of others do not automatically change along with them. The old adage ‘forgiven, but not forgotten’ is particularly poignant here. Next month I will delve a bit deeper into this issue of trust and how it can crop up in many areas of human-animal relationships.